What is the main mindset change needed to always find ways for everyone to benefit in any talk?

The main mindset change needed to always find ways for everyone to benefit in any talk is a fundamental shift from a positional and distributive mindset to an interests-based and integrative mindset. A positional mindset focuses solely on one's stated demands or desired outcomes, known as positions, without considering the underlying reasons. For example, stating, "I want the blue car," is a position. This often leads to a distributive approach, or distributive negotiation, which views the interaction as dividing a fixed resource, where one party's gain necessarily means another's loss, like cutting a pie into pieces. This "fixed-pie" assumption creates an adversarial dynamic where parties compete to claim as much value as possible. In contrast, an interests-based mindset focuses on understanding the fundamental needs, desires, fears, and motivations that drive a party's positions; these are known as interests. For instance, the interest behind wanting the blue car might be reliability, fuel efficiency, or a specific safety feature. This shift encourages an integrative approach, or integrative negotiation, where participants collaborate to identify shared interests and create new options that satisfy multiple parties simultaneously. This process aims to "expand the pie" rather than just dividing it, by finding creative solutions that generate mutual value. By exploring underlying interests, parties can move beyond surface-level demands and discover common ground or complementary needs, leading to innovative solutions where everyone's core concerns are addressed, thereby achieving mutually beneficial outcomes that would not have been apparent when only focusing on stated positions.